Here’s why I’m OK (and then not OK) with moving in 28 days

How do I say it? There are so many ways. I’m trying to decide what to say first and what’s most important to say. I am literally sorting this out while I type. I mean, the thoughts have been floating around in my head HARD CORE since I got the news less than 24 hours after being home from India. There has been a wild range of emotions and processing – all good.

I’ll start with the news first. Things will make more sense to you after that.

In 28 days, we have to move the Holiday Rambler off the property we’ve been living on for 20 months. Our current landlord (she prefers to be called neighbor) sold the land (after giving us first dibs) and they close on Aug. 31. This wasn’t a surprise or a shock. I’m glad that it happened for her, and I’m super glad it didn’t happen while I was in India.

This season of living will end in 28 days. This crazy, wild adventure of living in an RV with my mom and two German shepherds, and then buying and renovating my own trailer and living in that, and building a pallet fence, and housing chickens, and bonfires, and outdoor workspaces – it’s winding down.

It is the place I moved into for one reason: to finish my memoir. It is as close to my roots as I’ve ever been. It’s the place where my story changed, where it was redeemed, where I had good memories of my childhood. It’s the nest where my story made sense.

We signed the initial lease for 6 months (December 2013 to June 2014). My book wasn’t completed.

We re-upped the lease for another 6 months (June 2014 to December 2014). My book wasn’t finished.

We signed on for another six months (December 2014 to June 2015). My book was closer to being done, but not quite.

We signed another month (July 2015). My book underwent some of its final edits.

We signed again. (August 2015). My book is at peace.

This is why I’m OK with moving in 28 days: the purpose of this home is (nearly) over. Its work is done.

This is why I’m not OK with moving in 28 days: I question if the work is really done. Is the book as good or perfect as it needs to be?

But I’m OK with moving in 28 days because I know me and I know I need nudges. I need spiritual nudges, “The purpose of this home is done.”

And I’m OK because I know me and my relationship with houses.

“Your house shall be not an anchor but a mast.
It shall not be a glistening film that covers a wound, but an eyelid that guards the eye.” – Kahlil Gibran

Which is why I’m not OK with moving in 28 days. I want to know – what is my next mast, my eyelid? What is its purpose?

This is why I’ve obsessively been scouring for places to live.

And it’s why, after 24 hours of obsessively scouring for places to live, I’ve re-centered. I might not know right now where I’ll live next. Well, might not know is generous. In actuality, I have no idea.

But I’m not panicking. I’m OK. Every little thing is gonna be alright.

Just like it was when I came home from Kenya in February 2013 and had to move in with my mom.

Just like it was when I came home from Ethiopia in November 2013 and had to move again.

Just like it will be coming home from India and moving.

This is the {unpredictable} {adventurous} {scary} {exhilarating} {beautiful} life. Ebb and flow. Rhyme and reason. Discovery and re-discovery.

It’s why I’m OK with moving in 28 days.