Our tips on traveling with a baby in India and beyond

We just returned from an 8-day trip to the southern state of Kerala, where we spent four days in Kochi at the annual Central and South Asia Fulbright Conference, and four days in the mountains and tea estates of Munnar.

Saira (now 9 months old) just completed her 21st flight today. It’s been 2.5 weeks since our trip to the state of Goa, and we’re 2.5 weeks away from an out-of-country trip, so maybe now’s the best time for a blog post about: How We Travel With a Baby.

THE No. 1 reason we’re able to travel so efficiently is because of the partnership Murali and I have in executing the process. Put simply, he handles the LARGE majority of our travel logistics while I carry Saira. The fact that one person is not bearing the entire burden of the three-man operation prevents burn-out, keeps everyone happy and maintains a team-like environment.

Airports:

I always wear her into the airport, through ticketing and then security. It helps for me to have both hands mostly accessible.

We don’t have to take off our shoes through security which makes it super helpful. The security lines in India are divided by gender so me and Saira breeze through and then wait for Murali who’s with all our bags.

If we’re in our home airport of Bangalore, we directly go to our favorite coffee/lounge spot, shove a couple chairs together for Saira, and Murali fetches coffee while I de-wear her. Next stop for her and I is the baby-care room (every airport in India has one!) where I change her diaper and change her out of her pjs and into clothes (most of our flights are at the ass-crack of not-even-dawn and by the time we’ve arrived at the airport, we’ve already been in a car for 40 minutes.)

We drink our coffee, she plays in our makeshift baby containment area (we don’t call it a baby jail because there are babies her age actually being jailed right now by the U.S. government), and we wait for our flight to begin boarding.

Now that she’s mobile, we look for a place where she can crawl around on the floor and, like she did today, chase around our round lip balm container while we sat on the floor and ate our pre-flight lunch. And, bonus! When we ran into friends at the airport, they joined us on the floor for their lunch too.

Tips:

Contain the kid for as long as possible in the airport

Take advantage of any opportunity for them to go rogue

Change diaper before boarding

Airplane:

We stay off the plane for as long as possible, including the one time an airline rep called us on our cellphone (while we drank coffee in the lounge near our gate) to remind us of our flight.

My objective on all flights is to make it as pleasant as possible for her, myself, and the people around us (in that order.)

Flying with her is definitely different than even three months ago as her activity level is a lot higher. She usually makes friends at some point with the people behind us (she’s an avid people watcher) and they help to keep her entertained.

I make sure that a diaper and wipes are in the front pocket of the carry-on overhead, so that getting to it is easy and as least disruptive as possible. Having a couple toys handle is useful, but honestly she’s more interested in the in-flight magazine and puke bag in the seat-back pocket in front of her. We’ve given up fighting the inevitable and she’s allowed to look at the pictures and chew on it until her spit has softened the paper and there’s a risk she’ll bite a chunk off and choke.

I stand up and walk around as much as possible. We’ve stood many a long minute in the galley and I’ve highjacked as many paper cups as necessary to placate her.

Flight attendants are some of the people I allow to take her from me and away. (In India, a lot of strangers want to hold your baby and sometimes don’t really ask.) Once, Murali and I had a blissful 10 minutes alone in our seats. I still remember those moments for their silence and the lack of a little body crawling all over mine.

Meltdowns are generally inevitable and while I try to avoid them, sometimes they need to happen, especially when she’s tired or the fasten-seatbelt sign is on. Once, a lady tapped me on the shoulder to tell me that the crying baby I was holding was crying. A few seconds later, she tapped me again and insisted I give Saira to her. I insisted that I would not.

While she’s melting down, my focus is on making sure she’s getting what she needs, like air in her lungs and room to throw her body about. The fits don’t last forever (bless!) and eventually sleep comes.

When we first started flying with Saira, I was moderately modest about breastfeeding her on the plane. Technically, I still am but to be honest, I just don’t care if someone catches a side-boob or a brief nipple-view. We are all going to survive that. To mitigate the risk, I pre-purchase a window seat.

Saira hasn’t had issues with her ears during take-off and landing so if she falls asleep before we’re in-flight, I let a sleeping baby lie. Generally, in life, my policy is to never wake a sleeping baby. This applies in airplanes to.   

Tips:

Be the last people boarding

Stand in the galley as much as needed

If breastfeeding, the window seats are the way to go

Hand her off to an eager flight attendant

Don’t worry about other passengers; they’ll be fine

Subhead with random stuff:

Now that she’s eating solids, I have her entire food bag to pack. I take her ragi cereal, a rice cereal and bananas, plus utensils and if I’m taking milk, the bottle, etc.. Sometimes, depending on the trip, I’ll take my breast pump, but only if I’m going to be away from her for hours at a time (typically for conference trips.)

We stopped packing diapers for every day of the trip because it’s easier for us to buy them at our destination. This allows us to travel light.

We do not bring her stroller or car seat. Strollers are essentially useless in India (outside of our apartment complex) and the car seat is not practical. This definitely lightens our load. (Also a load-lightener: only bringing one laptop.)

I’m always looking for places to put her now that she’s mobile. A recent hotel coffee lounge provided her with lots of space to climb and crawl while I supervised with my cappuccino in hand.

In India, there is usually always a willing pair of hands to hold her. Sometimes she allows it. Sometimes she cries when people tell her hello. Who can tell. There was one lady employee at our recent hotel who Saira allowed to hold her, and at the restaurant, one of the waiters was allowed to hold her. He carried her around while he worked and we ate. There’s really no greater gift for 9-month-old parents than to be able to wolf down their continental breakfast at the same time while someone else entertains the child.

It’s inevitable that routines and schedules will go to shit. This is, indeed, the frustrating part of our traveling. All of our bedtime routine goes to hell in a hand basket when she gets to sleep between mom and dad for a number of nights in a hotel room. Plus, there’s a simple fact that most restaurants here don’t begin serving dinner till 7:30 or 8 (her bedtime), so that’s annoying. For two nights on our most recent trip we ordered room service while she slept. Another night Murali ate at the restaurant and brought me a plate. Some other nights, she was awake and went with us. The integration back into home life is usually bumpy and takes a few days (and just in time for the next trip to begin).

We move more slowly. In a past life, I wanted on the plane faster, and I wanted to be one of the first off. Now? I’m happy to board last and happy to bring up the rear on the deplaning process. I’m  surprisingly OK with all of this.

We are often in our own world. There was a time when she was pacified by sucking our little fingers, so we did a lot of that, and many people (strangers) told us not to and we didn’t listen. There are moments she is happiest being held upside down, so we do that. Once, she climbed across a row of chairs in the airport lobby with my watchful eyes and hands near her, much to the (gasping) concern of the woman across from us. We set her loose in quiet parts of the airport to chase water bottles before catching our flight. Sometimes she cries and we let her.

Even with our best-laid plans and routinized execution of them, there are moments where I wonder if it would be easier to stay home, or easier if I just darted off alone for a quick conference trip. There are moments where, yes, it would be easier. But the alternative isn’t desirable for us, and looking back, I see how much would be missing from the tapestry that is our family if we didn’t go.

Hopefully these tips are useful and if you have any to share, please do! I know our processes will change as she grows, so let me know what to expect. 🙂