I spent eight days with my nieces, and this is what it felt like

It feels as though I’ve been in an alternate reality.

A reality in which not much is about me,

And everything revolves around extensions of myself –

Two feminine beings with a penchant for

twirly dresses, long baths and music videos,

books before bed, blankies and chicken nuggets,

tree tunnels, picnics and tickle fights.

 

It feels like I’m running a marathon.

The finish line: Bedtime.

And each day is a journey for us to get there

In one piece

with full bellies,

enriched minds,

adventured spirits

and tired, clean bodies.

 

It feels like the world is spinning,

And I’m catching glimpses of it.

A headline here, an email there.

Between the cogs of movement,

I respond to emails,

hold phone conferences,

have business meetings,

teach courses,

fold laundry

and set out the weekly trash.

Then, when the world’s news becomes too much to ignore

I sit with it on the living room floor.

The pureness of the life swirling around me has invaded my soul.

I cry.

 

It feels like exhaustion and elation

All wrapped into one.

Like the expanding and receding shoreline of an ocean.

Full, full, full

Love, love, love,

Energy, compassion, excitement.

Goofy, adventure time.

Receding.

Sleepy eyes, soft tears, grumpy faces, “Will you snuggle me?”

Quiet time.

 

It feels selfless,

This perpetual state of nurturing.

Instinctually waking up

to find a small face peering at you.

Moments of sleep exchanged for

Sluggish words:

“I’m sorry you had a bad dream,”

“Come, let’s tuck you back in.”

 

It feels as though I’ve been in an alternate reality.

One in which I want to return to.

Again.

And again.